I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
