you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
