he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
be right there i have to get my cape
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
