Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
