I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
