taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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