You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize