HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
