I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
