I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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