Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
