how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
