i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize
