so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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