Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
