So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
