what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
