Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
