So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
