Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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