Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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