she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
