what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize