Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
