YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
