PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i already hear my dad disowning me
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
