She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
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