Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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