You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
