question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
