I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
