Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
