did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
