i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
