he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize