New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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