My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
