Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
