At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
