i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
