Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
be right there i have to get my cape
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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