she was so not down for the gang bang
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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