I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she smelled like a LAN party
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
