Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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