ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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