she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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