she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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