I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
