They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize