apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
