just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
