We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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