You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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