This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
