That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
