She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize