Sponge bath it is.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
